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ANXIETY IS NOT A NOUN

As a society, we have made anxiety a noun or a ‘thing’ that we now all have in various doses. It has become an identity, a marker of how we function in the world, and something we just have to live with. I think it’s crucial to look under the hood at the elements of … read more

Relationship No-No #3: Projection

Today, I will discuss Relationship No-No #3: Projection. My goal, is to bring this defensive strategy to light, and offer alternative routes to strengthening versus destroying bonds. Have you ever found yourself overly triggered by your partner and you don’t understand your own EXTRA LARGE feeling or response? Or your partner has told you that … read more

Relationship No-No #2: Withdrawal

April 27, 2020 by Valerie Tate Leave a Comment (Edit) Today, I will discuss Relationship No-No #2: Withdrawal. My goal, is to bring this defensive strategy to light, and offer alternative routes to strengthening versus destroying bonds. why we are defensive Everyone has defenses. They are part of how we cope with and adapt to stress as children. It … read more

Relationship No-No #1: Threats

As a therapist, I have since seen hundreds of couples. What I have found, is that there are 10 dominant defensive behaviors ruining relationships. My goal, is to bring these to light, and offer alternative routes to strengthening versus destroying bonds. Defensiveness and acting out cause damage to relationships In a series of posts, I … read more

We are all getting a Ph.D in Presence

Like it or not, we all got enrolled in a Ph.D program called Presence. As students, we have choices. To fight it, worry, panic, blame others, or as Ram Dass said, Be Here Now. The practice of being present used to be an optional learning or advancement for those wanting to become more ‘spiritual.’ As … read more

What you give attention to, grows

You have heard the phrase, ‘What you give your attention to, grows.’ Deepak Chopra. The same goes for your mental health. In the last month of quarantine, planting seeds, growing vegetables from cuttings, and watering plants has dramatically increased the joy factor in my household. I will share with you the why and the how … read more

Open Your Creativity Meditation

Listen here: This Quarantine time has brought up many fears and life questions for us all. We are in a collective existential crisis. This is a crisis of meaninglessness. What will our world and society become? Will we transform for the better? Will things keep breaking down? We are facing our fears collectively in the … read more

Bring Play into Morning Meetings

I have spoken to many clients this week who are describing morning business meetings as all but inspired. Week one, everyone was scrambling to transition to work-from-home and creating new systems, ramp up on supplies and food and creating work out plans. Week two was all about meetings. Meetings and more meetings to discuss the … read more

5 TIPS TO SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP IN QUARAN-TIMES

1. TREAT THEM LIKE YOUR BOSS OR CO-WORKER: Now that most of you are working from home, do you notice a shift in your partner’s tone and language when they speak to people they work with? The tone is kind and patient, they reflect what was said, there is goal setting, follow-up on tasks and … read more

REDUCE YOUR ANXIETY: SELF-HYPNOSIS AUDIO RECORDING

One gift of this time inside, is a chance to go deep inside. My belief about mental health, is that we have the potential to change our state of being as we wish. Sometimes we get locked in thought patterns, fears and familiar emotions. No one is immune to this roller coaster. Left to my … read more

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