Couples Counseling in San Francisco


C ouples move through natural stages. These include Merging, Individuation and Differentiation (identical to the infant-age 3 developmental stages). Flow or discomfort can occur at any stage.I teach couples how to move between these stages with ease and awareness.

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P ositive feedback loop. We are all motivated by positive feedback and affirmation as children, in our adult work, and fundamentally in our relationships.

I teach couples how to focus on, highlight and amplify what is working versus gazing at the shadows.

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W hen a couple is stuck in a polarized dynamic there is a reason for it.

1) repetitive of a childhood pattern seeking to get released and healed

2) teaching one another a different way of being (not so fun at times!).

I help couples unlock these dynamics and establish new patterns.


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W e don’t fall out of love, we fall from the state of love. The ‘honeymoon’ phase is a gift to show each person their highest potential.

If you fall from that state into negativity, blaming or longing, I can help to identify these desires and develop them within the self.

This is a key ingredient to long term relational fulfillment and cultivation of a state of ongoing love.

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W e are projection machines. We understand ourselves by projecting our thoughts, feelings and desires upon another.

When you own your judgments, feelings and thoughts it becomes possible to truly connect with your partner and have clear communication.


Contact Valerie For a
Free 15 Minute Consultation

Clear the way to an intuitive, energetic, creative & fulfilled life.